My mini tarot deck has connected so much with me while on this trip to Mexico. It's new, but we've slept side by side for a week now. I touch it daily and now trust in its guidence even more so than any other deck I have.
As my last post said, today was hard. This whole week has been not what I expected, and I almost hopped a plane home yesterday just to escape it.
Instead I decided to stay, because I didn't want to forfeit what should have been an amazing experience.
So, today I went for another snorkel, in some underwater Maya statues, a reef, and a ship wreck, with turtles, barracuda, tuna, and tons of fish.
After coming back and reading until dusk, the sunset hit me and I had this insane urge to go back in the water for a night swim.
I couldn't really afford it, I have a very modest income and spend much of that on rescues, rent and art supplies. I paced the room and pestered people close to my heart to help me choose. I always feel guilty about spending on myself.
My lovley roommate @nattsbak handled my insistant mental circles with grace, probably wanting to kick me. The conclusion came to run down the road and let the universe decide, because I hadn't booked online.
But, I still felt some reserve. So I pulled out this deck, threw it on the bed, and pulled the 5 of Discs - a sad girl sitting on the ocean floor with fish!
It was too intensely close to home. My heart in a photo. It represents detachment from the world, sadness & emotional poverty.
I grabbed my bag and ran the 3 blocks through a somewhat sketchy area to the dock, having friendly faces welcome me back. (And even got a discount!) I spent my last night in this country swimming with squid, octopus, stingray, trumpet fish, eel, more turtles (one was sleeping) and barracuda.
While a lot of this trip has been a challenge for my mind and heart, today made me feel full.
I still feel as if I am in the waves, water legs are disorienting. But I am drunk on happiness.
#tarot #fish #ocean #sadgirl #spiritguide #nicolettaceccoli
